"One of the most time-consuming things is to have an enemy."
"Prejudice is a great time saver. You can form opinions without having to get the facts."
"The world is full of people who have never, since childhood, met an open doorway with an open mind."
"Explaining a joke is like dissecting a frog. You understand it better but the frog dies in the process."
"There's no limit to how complicated things can get, on account of one thing always leading to another."
"Don't write about Man; write about a man."
"Life is like writing with a pen. You can cross out your past but you can't erase it."
"To achieve style, begin by affecting none."
"We should all do what, in the long run, gives us joy, even if it is only picking grapes or doing laundry."
"When an American family becomes separated from its toothbrushes and combs and pajamas for a few hours it considers that it has had quite an adventure."
"Everything in life is somewhere else and you get there in a car."
"Most people believe almost anything they see in print."
"By comparison with other less hectic days, the city is uncomfortable and inconvenient; but New Yorkers temperamentally do not crave comfort and convenience- if they did they would live elsewhere."
"I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world."
"When your stomach is empty and your mind is full, it’s always hard to sleep."